Amish have many admirable qualities -- hard work ethic, self-reliant, and determined. Like many country residents, they garden and provide food for their family. Children are assigned chores and expected to contribute to the family.
There's also something deeper. Ominous.
I was taught:
If I lie I will go too Hell,
If I cheat I will go too Hell,
If I disobey Edward and Katie [parents] I will go too Hell,
If I curse I will Go too Hell,
If I don't stay Amish I will go to Hell,
If I'm not Baptized I will go to Hell,
If I drive a car I will go to Hell,
If I did anything that the Amish Church said was wrong I would go to Hell!!!!!
I left the Arthur Amish community and moved to Indiana, where I started going to a Mennonite Church, I would go to Hell.
writes former-Amish Andy (last name deleted to protect his identity).
Having lived the life, Andy admits "it was hard to put away these things" after leaving his settlement.
Is this what it's really like?
I thought I "got it" from my experiences with Mosie, Harvey, Josh, and the others who said, "Everything is a sin." But Andy pulled back the curtain and gave me a "feel" for its oppression. Reading his words, I felt frustrated. Trapped. Hopeless. All the emphasis was on the outward -- behavior.
I'm unsure which order Andy came from - there are so many. Some of the liberal Amish orders are lenient on the rules and
restrictions. Some have their church services in English and allow Bible
studies outside the home. Swartzentrubers do not.
Often outsiders look at the Amish and think they "all look the same" and their life is charming. Simple.
But as Mennonite author Doris Janzen Longacre said, ❝The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple.❞
What's it really like?
Free or fearful? My answer is . . . it's both. Yes, there's fresh air and quiet nights, a self-sustaining lifestyle, living without the frustrating dependence on computers and smart phones, and Yes, there's forced conformity, dread, and fear of God and hell.
Question: Looking in from the outside, what do you think Amish are like? Leave your comment below. What do you think of Andy's words?
(c)Copyright 2014, Brenda Nixon
Andy's words are heartbreaking and clearly show the cult-like aspects of the Amish sect he grew up in. I recognize there are many different Amish sects, but even in the less restrictive groups, there is more legalism than most tourists visiting Amish Country can imagine. There is very little freedom or grace in any of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your insightful comment Brenda.
DeleteMost of Andy's statements are very familiar to me and to anyone that has been under legalism. As you've stated, there are differences among the Amish, but legalism is at the core of each group's beliefs. While many of the rules may seen wrong or crazy to outsiders, those that follow the rules see them as part of life, of living a life of sacrifice in obedience to God.
ReplyDeleteI'm always torn when I read your blogs, Brenda, because on the one hand I understand where they are coming from, but on the other hand, it saddens me that some don't know the full extent of God's love, grace, and forgiveness, and the freedom that they'll get from accepting those gifts.
I agree that legalism is at the core of each Amish order. Now that I know what I know Dali, I'm torn when I see Amish because I wonder if they know anything about divine love, grace, and forgiveness - when to many admiring outsiders the Amish are the flagship of faith.
DeleteThanks Brenda Nixon, I just want people that know the true Gospel that get's us to Heaven, too realize they need to share it with most of these people!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading & for your comments Anonymous. Come back again or subscribe (at right) to conveniently receive my blog in your email.
DeleteHi. I work as a researcher and would like to ask you some questions about the ex-amish and the amish community. Could you email me at christina.kasagiannis@elkentertainment.se Thank you for reading my comment and I look forward to hearing from you.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous (aka Tina), thanks for reading my blog. If you look to your right you'll see my email address under Profile.
DeleteI know you're a head-hunter for a Swedish reality TV show. You're not the first to contact me about the Amish. I don't cooperate unless it's a reputable documentary akin to PBS TV or National Geographic. When it comes to "my ex-Amish kids" I'm as loving and protective as a mother hen.
Nonetheless, I emailed you as requested as courtesy.
I think it is very important to distinguish each and every time that you make a post that this is highly subjective to the community in which the Amish live. I live in a small Amish community. My neighbors all are Amish. We speak quite a bit. I am Mennonite, but not a conservative Mennonite (I do not wear a head covering and don't wear skirts). It is not like this for all of the Amish.
ReplyDeleteWhen you generalize, it casts a bad light on some who are not bad people. You may think you are freeing the ones who are being restricted against their will, and you may be, but you can also be doing a great deal of damage, too. Very often, I see the Amish in our area hounded, cursed at, and subjected to cruelty because these sorts of stereotypes exist. It breaks my heart that such sweet people would go through that simply because of their faith.
Please, I ask of you, be careful how much weight you throw behind this stereotype. It is a complex issue. Though your "Ex-Amish kids" may have gone through terrible things, not all Amish do.
And when "you generalize" due to failing to read the above description or my profile at the right, you fail to see that I'm talking about the most conservative orders - Swartzentruber and some Old.
DeletePlease read several posts before you generalize that I'm globalizing all the Amish, which is what most bonnet fiction does.
I agree with you Brenda. I have never seen in any of your posts where you put all the Amish together in one group. Kudos to you for sharing with respect.
DeleteThank you Anonymous. I was raised Old Order and my experince was not a bad one at all I just wanted more out of life than I would have been able to experience in an Old Order sect. That said there was not the stigma that most people expect!!!!!
DeleteI think the Amish lifestyle is a little too restrictive. What good are quiet nights and fresh air, when you're always kept in a state of controlled paranoia or constant hard work with rules forbidding exploration of the world around them?
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point Babs.
DeleteSo interesting, I just discovered your blog. I grew up very close to Arthur, IL & seeing Amish was normal to me, not a tourist attraction. Over the last few years I have met some former Amish near Middlebury area in Indiana. And have heard their experiences growing up. Thanks for your blog & giving insight into the Amish.
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point cafegirl71, when we mix with or personally know Amish we get to know the person and don't see them as a tourist attraction.
DeleteI have a 22 year old Amish man wanting out but has no help he lives in Willow Pa being punished for leaving went back because of a young lady she drops him he needs help bad talking about hurting himself. I cant do much I have ms an stroke if you know any one to help please do I beg
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, it'd help if you left your name/email and some form of contact on you or this young man.
DeleteAnonymous, do you have any more info you can share? We are hoping to be able to help soon! (melnic12@gmail.com - if you don't want to publicly respond)
Delete