That ruffles my feathers!

"Please be careful in judging an entire belief system on one or two disgruntled folks," was her ridiculous, sweeping, and prejudicial statement.

Boy that ruffles my feathers!
First, she's insulting my precious ex-Amish son-in-law, two "adopted" sons, numerous other family and friends from out of the Amish by calling them disgruntled. How'd she come to her judgmental conclusion without ever talking to any of them?

I can assure you that the aforementioned family and friends are NOT disgruntled. Maybe emotionally injured. Have sad memories. Feel ostracized. But not mad. Not spiteful. In fact, they often sit around my table laughing and telling stories - comparing childhood behaviors and rules.

What a sweeping statement from someone who is assuming that all former-Amish are "disgruntled."

It'd been better for her to humbly ask, "And what makes them so desperate to leave?" or to honestly want to learn by asking, "Why do some Amish leave?" Then let me count the ways.
  • Many Amish people leave their life because they just want something different.
  • To do a job outside of the Amish lifestyle.
  • Some fall in love and marry outside the Amish life, which demands they leave.
  • I know several who left because they wanted to read the Bible, grow spiritually, and live a faith-based (not rule-based) life. If you don't believe me read about former-Old Order John.
  • Some Amish are sexually and verbally abused! Human rights activists would have a heyday if they knew of violations that go on within the Amish - and I KNOW it from my Old Order and Swartzentruber contacts.
  • Some want to party hardy. They're like a wild stallion pinned up, stomping to break free.
I'm going to stick my neck out and make a supposition that her assumption is because she doesn't want to learn. Ignorance is bliss they say. 

Oh . . but wait . . .I'm being too harsh. I suppose if this woman was raped and decided to report it to the police and avoid her rapist, it'd be because she was DISGRUNTLED. She should allow the violation of her body to continue.

And the final ignorance here is that she admitted, "I have had dealings, albeit as an outsider, with Amish and not had any inkling of them..." So her dealings with current Amish make her an expert on those who leave?

My former-Amish pal - out of the Old Order - tried to calm with the truth: "it's just opposition."

That was his comment. What's yours?

(C)Copyright 2015, Brenda Nixon. Don't copy without permission or I might get disgruntled.


  1. I think you're correct Brenda, in suspecting she simply didn't want to learn the truth. Unfortunately, many people have a glorified view of the Amish based on Amish novels and several days of touring Amish country. They find comfort in knowing that in today's crazy world there is still a group of people that adheres to a slow, "peaceful," old-fashioned lifestyle. Any truth that challenges that assumption is rejected.

    1. Yup, you're right Brenda & thanks for your comments. Most people want to wallow in a comfortable image rather than learn truths that challenge their comfort.
      Learners who are reading my book are saying incredible things like, "it's raw reality," and "compelling, I couldn't put it down." One lady told me she read my book twice!

  2. I am a Roman Catholic. I have had excellent experiences in my Religion, and only a few minor brushes with the intolerance that often occurs in all religions, including Humanism. I was never abused, but if I were I would not leave the Church. I would raise an almighty legal and PR campaign against the abuser, but I would not reject Catholicism.
    There is one and only one reason for choosing a religion, from atheism to militant Islam. It is not because you like the stained glass. It is not because you fell in love with a member of that religion. It is not because you enjoy the pastor's sermons. It is not because the congregation is friendly. It is not because you like the lifestyle.
    It is because you believe that that religion is the description of absolute Reality...that it is the one true meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything.
    If I believed the Amish were correct in their religion, I would join it in a minute. I would be miserable, because I am a Science, Technology and Science Fiction fan, but I would join without hesitation ONCE I became convinced it was True.

    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comments Thomas.
      One sentence shows me that you thought like me - an Englisher - who wasn't raised Amish. "I would raise an almighty legal and PR campaign against the abuser, but I would not reject..." From my experiences with former Amish, I've learned that they cannot raise objections to the system - it's looked down on, verboten, could give cause for the bann.
      Sadly, they really don't have the freedom to raise any campaign against any other Amish person or abuse. That's their culture - their way.

  3. With the Amish there is no choice or raising an Almighty legal anything if you want to remain Amish. That is just one reason why many leave is because they are done with religion. Religion is bondage and doesn't give one a choice. God frees us and we have choice. Not saying that's all Amish but its my experience.

  4. I think that a lot of people get caught up in the fairy tale that comes with the Amish romance books. I will admit that I used to do that man years ago. That was before I lived in between 2 amish communities and became friends with so many Amish and Ex-Amish. There is definitely some beauty and good that come from the Amish, just like with many other cultures. However, so many believe falsely that they are all Christians. Emma's comment was beautiful about God freeing us. It is only in Christ that we can be peaceful and free truly.

  5. I agree with Laura. So many see the amish as better than best.....almost a fairy-tale life that is completely perfect. They dont wish to see the truth, that the amish are not that different from the rest of us. They have problems too. They live in a society that puts conformity first. Yet each of us is proud of our differences. Most do not have the chance to know a living God, as they are not taught of salvation. They are taught to do good works, live right, and "hope" to see heaven. While they are taught not to be prideful- many have a form of pride in how humble they are. Its a very complicated life, that is further confused as each community adds their own "tweaks" to the rules. Thomas, I agree that you must look for the truth in faith and religion. I think that many dont bother to look at what the amish believe, instead, they see the "window-covering" in the humbleness, the modesty and the outward appearances. Lynn Brokaw

  6. Just because someone had Amish neighbors out lives in the same area does NOT mean that you know the Amish there is so much that an outsider will never see or hear because they are considered outsiders. I grew up Amish and I can't count the times I heard deh hohay missa sel net visa (the world has no need of knowing that) the Amish culture hides a lot of things

    1. M.J. - thank you for sharing your comments. I agree that there are many things "the world" or outsiders will never know about the Amish...not that I particularly WANT to know it's just that some have left and lived with me. So I got some inside scoop. I watched them struggle to adapt to outside life and heard stories or rules of their upbringing. It appears that, for the most part, Amish enjoy the naive admiration and income from outsiders so much that they'll keep any hint of problems hidden.
      Hope you feel welcome to come back and read posts and leave your comments.