The second time he left his Amish life, the ex-Amish guy who picked him up in a car and brought him to Ohio, stopped in our home and introduced us to Marvin. At 18-years-young, he looked so naive. He'd left behind his Amish appearance -- English clothes, clean-shaven, short hair.I wrote in detail about our relationship with Marvin, his near-death car accident and making me his medical POA during the delicate body repair surgery.
What's he doing since my book came out?
He missed his family and went back Amish.
Briefly. His vacillating behavior is not uncommon. Estrangement from parents and siblings, and maneuvering the unfamiliar English world without parent's guidance causes some to doubt their decision. To grow weary. They return.
Some remain Amish. But some say they can't stand all the rules, the cultural confines, the intense suspicious supervision.
Marvin left again.
He earned his GED, and is now attending his first semester of college -- studying criminal justice! I'm so proud of Marvin. Since he had no birth parent support, he applied for and received two grants. He likes football, recently went sky-diving, and is a hard worker as a lawncare specialist and delivery driver!
To my knowledge, Marvin isn't dating anyone. That's OK. Better to focus on work and school.
The last time he stopped in to see me, we talked at length over lunch. He told me a shocking fact. "The Amish in the settlement where I grew up thought they were better than anyone else," he revealed. "They were very judgmental of others that weren't as strict."
Wow, I'm always learning intimate stories and histories. And I'm always learning something new about this complex culture.
If you want to know more of Marvin's tumultuous history, read Chapter 7 of Beyond Buggies and Bonnets: Seven true stories of former Amish. Honestly, this was the hardest, most emotional chapter I wrote.
Want to encourage Marvin? Leave a note below.
(C)Copyright, 2015, Brenda Nixon.
I just read your book this past week.. it was so interesting to read the stories of these young folks. Congrats Marvin for stepping out & seeking out life changing experiences. Its difficult to walk away from friends & family, but sometimes it just has to happen that way for us to grow. I wish you the best that Life has to offer you..
ReplyDeleteI still admire the grit & apparent resilience of these people who leave the Amish. Talk about turning over a new leaf leaving a lifestyle, friends, family, tools of their trade, etc.
DeleteGlad you enjoyed my book Kimberly. It makes reading this post about Marvin more meaningful, eh?
How wonderful for Marvin! My hope is that he will always put the Lord first as he goes on to further his education and everything else he is choosing to do. God has already performed a miracle in his life with having recovered from that accident. I know He has special plans for Marvin.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind comments and interest Dali. You've been a faithful, nonjudgmental reader and learner and I appreciate you.
DeleteHello Brenda,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to let you know I recently bought and read this book. I'm praying for you.
Dee
That is generally how they seem to think, and I always thought growing up that if I left, it was a one way ticket to hell. That was instilled in kids growing up. I would encourage him to keep going, to focus on learning all you can and then making a business that can change the world for the better.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and leaving your comments Joseph.
DeleteCongratulations Marvin!! Just know that your Facebook friends are supporting you and keeping you in our prayers. And kudos to finishing your first semester in College!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments of support Lisa.
DeleteSo proud of you Marvin. So sorry, though, for the emotional pain the Amish's legalism has put you through. You're in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteAlways great to hear from you Jim. And hearty good wishes on your upcoming book.
DeleteSo proud of you, Marvin for all your hard work. I will continue to pray for you as you navigate the culture. I can't imagine how emotional it must be to pursue your dreams without support from the people you love most! I pray God will soften their hearts to accept you as you are!
ReplyDelete