8/7/13

Monroe on the Run, Part II

Running from his repressive Swartzentruber Order, Monroe came to us straight off the farm. Denied coat hangers, music, sunglasses, ball gloves, electricity, mother hugs, education beyond 8th grade, dental care and more, he's had - and will have - many "first" experiences!

My husband and I are blessed . . . and enriched . . . that we were chosen to welcome Monroe, help him begin life on the "outside" and to share some of his "firsts" in the English world.

We also have had the responsibility of helping him experience not-so-pleasant "firsts" like severely burned ears! People don't realize that the first time an Amish male cuts his long hair and tosses aside his hat that his once hidden ears are exposed to the sun. And, wow, did Monroe's ears suffer from raw sunburn the first weeks. He burned, peeled, picked, bled, and burned again. My sofa still shows greasy stains from Monroe reclining while his ears were coated in pain relieving gel. Eww.

I taught him how to put gas in a car and was with him when he first enjoyed the airy sugar on a stick - cotton candy. He wasn't allowed to attend fairs or festivals, so he'd never tasted this common fair food. Unlike the other ex-Amish we know, Monroe has a sweet tooth - his first time to hear that expression - and to this day devours sugary snacks! Without refrigeration, he rarely had ice cream. Nowadays he buys a bucket of it and eats nearly the entire thing in one sitting.  




The first Sunday he and his sister Sarah shared  with us was a glorious spring day. After church and lunch, we laughed and lounged in our backyard.

I enjoy the easy-to-entertain former Amish because they're used to making do, using their imaginations, inventing and playing games. Unspoiled by too much technology, they're contented to chat, joke, and build relationships.

You might recognize Josh (on left); I shared about him in February. My family is expanding as we count
these young people as our family.

Monroe accompanied us to a wedding - his first English wedding. There are major differences between Amish and English weddings; the parents' responsibilities, the planning, clothes, reception, etc.

We wanted Monroe to feel he belonged in our family so we took him with us as much as he felt comfortable.

After a quick trip to buy clothes dressier than a t-shirt and jeans, my patient husband tutored Monroe in wearing a tie. Doesn't Monroe look handsome?! My hubby does too!

In the Swartzentruber Order (uber strict) he wasn't allowed to ride a bicycle. When he said he'd like to learn, my husband, Monroe, and I loaded up our bikes and headed for a nearby trail where my patient-again husband taught Monroe.

He got the hang of it quickly. Then feeling confident, he wanted to race. After one slip on loose gravel, Monroe learned to slow down a bit and carefully control his bicycle.

A few days following, my cousin donated a bicycle to Monroe. He used that bike to ride to/from work each day; often timing himself and trying to beat his own record.

I've been privileged to give Monroe his first "mom" hug. What mom couldn't reach out and love a kind, grateful, respectful, teachable, witty, naive, hardworking teenager with stunning blue eyes and an impish grin? Monroe told me he never remembers his mother hugging him - I wanted to make up for that so each morning I embraced him before he left for work whispering in his ear, "You're a good person."

Shopping for a bed, sheets, groceries and other necessities to live on his own were "firsts." Recently Monroe moved into an apartment to launch life on his own but, he still visits and gives me a hug.

We've enjoyed many "firsts" with Monroe - and probably will many more - so I may again share about him in future posts. If you're a subscriber you get my blog post in your email inbox, if not be sure to come back here next week for more true Amish stories.

See ya next week.  ~ Brenda

(C)Copyright 2013, Brenda Nixon.
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9/17/14 Update: Monroe remains in our lives and hearts. He shares an apartment with Josh - another former Amish - works FT, drives a red car, and stopped by last evening...at dinner time. Among other matters, I think he wanted a home cooked meal and a mom hug.

13 comments:

  1. What a precious young man. May God give him wisdom and discernment as he navigates this new freedom; and continuing courage to pursue Jesus for who He is in the scriptures.

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    1. Thank you Dawn for your thoughtful & compassionate comment. Actually from the Swartzentruber Order, Monroe knew nothing of a loving Jesus who wants relationship with us. They require the German-language Bible and are prohibited from Bible studies outside Gma (church).
      Yes he is a precious young man in many ways. And yes, this new freedom is daunting and, for many, very tempting because they have few decision-making skills.

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    2. Dawn put it so well. This is such a HUGE learning curve for all of these young men and women. And with that will be many temptations and guilt based head games. Thank the Lord that Monroe and Sarah and Mosie and Josh and Harvey, etc... have patient and loving Christian "parents" to teach them the basics of life as well as the freedom of living with Christ as Lord. Blessings on each of you!

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  2. Loved this, Brenda! How exciting to be seeing Monroe experience all of these firsts! It's just like letting a kid loose in a candy store, and with Monroe's sweet tooth, it's probably a good description. BTW, how's he coming with the idioms and figures of speech. (I still struggle with those myself.)
    I know the feeling of seeing someone experience new things to a certain extent. I've had many students from different warm climate countries that have never experienced snow. They just can't wait for it, and when the first "dusting" of snow comes down, they show up in all of their winter gear while we are only wearing light jackets or heavy sweaters. But to see the excitement as they experience it is just priceless! It's also a wake up call to be more appreciative, because while I'm thinking, "Oh my word! Snow already!" they're laughing and carrying on like it's the best thing in the world.
    Most of all, I love how you have given him his first mom hug and that he is also experiencing God's love. That has to be the best of all. As always, Monroe, you, and the others are in my prayers.

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    1. Priceless! That's the right word Dali. And I love hearing about your experiences with some of your students.

      To answer your question about idioms and figures of speech; we still explain them when first used. We still explain them to our son-in-law who's been out for five years.

      We learn and are enriched from being with them, too. I now know some Amish words and expressions; not enough to eavesdrop but enough to initiate communication.

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  3. I am sure there are people that are doubting your accounts, but you are right on. It is a real problem for these young folks coming out of this background and thank God you and your husband are there helping these find their way to a better life. We left when I was in the mid 30's and the transition wasn't that much of a problem but we had friends around us who helped us get a vehicle and drivers licenses etc. It took time to find clothes for everyone and we didn't change everything right away, but over a period of time we transitioned from being Amish to now being Ex-Amish and thankful that we have been able to escape the system. It has set my family of 6 children free and I thank God for that. Thanks for what you are doing, Mr. and Mrs. Brenda! Blessings!

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    1. Always enjoy your comments Lester - you bring an experience few of my readers have - thank you.

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  4. I can see why God is using you in this unique ministry, Brenda. You're a loving, caring, and sensible Mom who's seeking not your own but His best for these young people. Thanks for your part in setting them free!

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    1. It's unique to me - never thought I'd be in this type helping profession.

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  5. our, beautiful story, kiss, hug and say I love my children every day, should not be easy to do without the embrace of a mother, I always joke that mother's lap is medicine lol.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Silvania. I like your "mother's lap is medicine,"

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  6. I love reading your posts and experiences Brenda, so uplifting, you are truly a wonderful and caring person! God Bless all your kiddos too as they have such a positive nurturing role model Diane H

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    1. Diane, thank YOU for being willing to learn, and for leaving your comment. It grieves me when some people look at Amish only as a commodity.

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